The term self love gets thrown around a lot. You hear it when people talk about anything from taking a shower, eating dinner, or getting their hair or nails done. So then what is self love? Well, it is all of those things, plus more. Self love is the act of respecting yourself, your body, mind and soul. It is treating you, the way you should be treated. This can be spread throughout many areas of your life.
While there are hundreds of ways to show yourself ‘Self Love’. The hardest part for most to accomplish, is to stop all of the negative self talk and self sabotage. When you say things like; I can't, I'm not smart enough, I'll never be able to, you are putting those negative thoughts into the world. Then what you will notice is that those things are right. If you always tell yourself that you can't do a handstand, then you will never be able to do a handstand. This type of thinking goes for all types of things in your life. If you put the negative's of “I can’t" into your mind, how will you ever know how far you can go? The expression “you are your own worst enemy” rings true for most of us. How many times have we acted against our self-interest, then asked ourselves why did we self-destruct? Why did we procrastinate on that project? Why have we stopped doing that one thing that makes us feel great? Self sabotaging thoughts and behaviors are created by the inner critic in all of us. You have to stop getting in your own way. Believe in yourself and believe in the process that you have created.
The new "Modern Woman" is expected to hold on to the older standards that were set by the time and be wives, mother's, caretakers, housekeepers, handle the bills, run the errands provide for our families. But now we are expected to also hold careers and run empire's. We do everything for everyone else but seem to not take the time for ourselves. How could you when your day is fully booked from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed.
How can I show myself Love?
What we have to remember is that we can not take care of others properly if we are not taking care of ourselves. So how do you add in that time for your own self love to your already busy schedule?Start by telling your self that you owe it to yourself! You must first believe that you deserve to be loved. By yourself and by others. You are worthy! You are important! You are are loved! If you need to get more specific then add to that sentence. You are worthy of love! You are worthy of personal time. You are loved by many! In 2012, Science Daily released a study, ‘Self-affirmation enhances performance, makes us receptive to our mistakes’ where they discuss “From the mistakes we make at work or school to our blunders in romantic relationships, we are constantly reminded of how we could be better. By focusing on the important qualities that make us who we are -- a process called self-affirmation -- we preserve our self-worth in the face of our shortcomings. New research explores the neurophysiological reactions that could explain how self-affirmation helps us deal with threats to our self-integrity.” *
So if science says that loving ourselves is OK and something we should do more of to be more successful, productive or just happier in our lives, then why do we as a culture have so much trouble doing it?
Now repeat after me:
I am worthy!
I am important!
I am loved!
I am powerful!
I am beautiful!
I am successful!Do you need help with finding daily affirmations to tell yourself?We found some fun apps you can download that will do it for you everyday!
These are great tools to aid in your journey of self love!
The next step is just as important as the first. Repeat after me…
I deserve to take care of myself.
I can not fill other’s cups with an empty pitcher!
It is a weird feeling to have to tell yourself that. But it is the nature of the beast. It is “normal” to put other’s people’s needs before your own. And to some extent, that is OK! Making sacrifices is part of life. But what happens is, as a society we take that too far. We say YES to much. Yes I can help you move. Yes, I can work overtime this week. Yes, I will make sure the house is spotless before going to bed. But by saying YES to everything else all the time, we forget to say YES to ourselves.
So how do you say yes to yourself more?
Some physical ways to show your self love is to take time to your self and do the things that make you happy. If you love knitting, then find some time to sit and do it. Tell yourself that you deserve the time to do the things that you hold dear. If you like to take long bath's and do a face mask, then do it. If you show yourself love by making time to go to the gym, or cook your favorite meal, then make sure to do those things.
Make yourself a priority! Make sure to take time everyday for some self affirmations, and self care time! You need it and deserve it!